Why We Don't Sleep at Grandma's Anymore

Sometimes I forget the fragility of a young child's mind and its ability to fully comprehend significant changes. Lolli reminded me of this today when we were over at my parents-in-law's home for our weekly dinner together.

Everytime we had visited LA (when we were living back East), we would stay with Air Boss' parents. We would typically sleep in a guest room that they have and 'Shroom and Lolli, I'm sure, have lots of memories of taking naps and getting dressed in the mornings in this room.

Earlier today, Lolli came out of the guest room and had asked me, "Why don't we sleep at Ah-Poh's [paternal grandmother's] house anymore?"

"We live in LA now and we have our own place to stay."

She looked a bit puzzled so I elaborated further.

"Because we live in LA, whenever we'll visit Poh-Poh [maternal grandmother], we'll stay at her house because we don't have a house in Boston anymore."

I think I made it worse because she just had one confused look on her face.

I then remembered that just a few days earlier when Air Boss' sister and sister's husband were in town visiting, they had stayed in the same guest room that we had typically stayed in on previous visits. Lolli had been poking around in the room and had emerged rather upset. "How come there are all these things in my room?"

She was near tears and didn't like the unfamiliar items that were in this room that had represented our "home-away-from-home". I was surprised that this room would evoke such strong emotional sentiments in her.

Many of you have called, emailed and asked how the kids have been doing with this transition. My usual response has been "great - they're a lot more resilient than I give them credit and a lot more flexible than I am." It's true, 'Shroom and Lolli have really done well with the selling and packing up of our house, driving across the country, and waiting patiently for days for us to unpack their toys once we made it to LA. I know that there is a whole lot more brewing beneath the surface that I see. Something that runs much deeper than I understand and more complex than they communicate.

It makes me sad to hear the kids say that they miss Boston and that they like the Green House much better than our new place here. Even Air Boss' change of work environment has Lolli asking, "how come Daddy works in the bedroom and not in a building?"

There are moments when I do wonder if we did the right thing (or were we simply just crazy?!) and how much of all of this the kids will even remember. Although I do believe that 'Shroom will have faint memories of living in Boston, I doubt Lolli will remember much of her early life in the Northeast.

For now, I'm just trying to explain the best way I can why we don't sleep at Grandma's anymore and hoping that RB will quickly become home for the kids.