For those of you living in LA, these driving tips may look familiar. I am not the author of this list but did find the tips rather humorous and so far, mostly true. Scary, huh?!
1. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 AM to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 7:00 PM. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
2. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. On the 105 or 110, your speed is expected to match the highway number. Anything less is considered "Wussy."
3. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. LA has its own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second. However, in Malibu , SUV-driving, cellphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way [or minivan-driving, GPS-configuring moms with Massachusetts plates]
4. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot.
5. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can get you shot.
6. Road construction is permanent and continuous in all of LA and Orange counties. Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting [or utterly frustrating for a newbie LA driver]
7. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats, barrels, cones, celebs, rubber-neckers, shredded tires, cell-phoners, deer and other road kill, and the coyotes feeding on any of these items.
8. Mapquest [or Garmin] does not work here -- none of the roads are where they say they are or go where they say they do and all the freeway off and on ramps are moved each night [or simply closed].
9. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated."
10. Do not try to estimate travel time -- just leave Monday afternoon for Tuesday appointments, by noon Thursday for Friday and right after church on Sunday for anything on Monday morning.
And finally "Why is the LA Freeway called the '405'?
Because no matter where you are going, it takes 4 or 5 hours to get there.
Photo by: Kalavinka
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