Thursday, February 21, 2008

Working with 'Shroom


Good morning!
Originally uploaded by radioflyer007

Thank you so much all of you for your encouraging words after my last blog entry. It's been such a roller coaster ride with 'Shroom and ever since he has been diagnosed with developmental delays from the age of 15 months.

Yesterday I had a really bad day working with 'Shroom during homework time. It took TWO HOURS for him to finish his assignment. Before any of you freak out and wonder what kind of pressure these kinder kids are put under these days, the homework should have taken about 10 minutes. 'Shroom--well, he just takes longer. I was so frustrated with him, so angry. Like he was purposely trying to get a rile out of me. Then he started crying. It was awful. Despite having read parents "do not exasperate your children" (Ephesians 6:4) in small group just the day before and hearing how I'm to love my child the way he is (from many of you), I still lost it with him.

I shared about 'Shroom in my MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) small group. The women weren't all that fazed about my confession about losing my cool with my kid, but then the look of horror registered on their faces when I informed them that I don't know how to be a mother to a special needs child. Although I didn't feel judged by them in any way (they are a great bunch of moms and I know we all have our issues), I know that what I had said sounded awful. A mom getting aggravated with her special needs child. That's like picking on a poor defenseless child. Well, lately, 'Shroom is anything but defenseless now that Air Boss has equipped him (and Lolli) with two foot long foam swords (haha - a story for another time).

According to the Redondo Beach Unified School District, 'Shroom is classified as "mentally retarded." That was a really hard pill to swallow for Air Boss and me. We wanted this label removed and expunged from all school records the day it was assigned to him. The only reason why his records still stands with this label is that without it, he doesn't qualify for the services he's currently receiving.

I'm realizing that regardless of whatever label he has on his school records (paperwork which I will shred before it ever reaches his eyes), his meaning of self-worth and esteem comes from the people he cares about. I know that I have a big impact on 'Shroom's life and I'm trying my best to make my mark on his life a positive and encouraging one.

I feel so humbled and inadequate for this job. Had this been a paid position with quarterly or anual reviews, I would have been fired ages ago. Rest assured, I haven't received any awards or pay increases for my less than stellar moments.

Thank you everyone for your words of encouragement. I appreciate your care, your concern, and I definitely covet your prayers. Today's homework time was good. No yelling. No tears. And it didn't take two hours. Your prayers have definitely sustained this mom and her dear mushroom-head boy. =)

3 comments:

Unknown said...

are u sure there isn't a better "label" to give 'Shroom? i worked in a school for special needs kids, and not once did i see that diagnosis on the dozens of IEPs i went through...and my kids were probably way more delayed than 'Shroom. i don't think it's very pc either..

anyways..
we're praying for you, and know that things WILL get better! let me know if you ever need a break! i'll do homework w/ 'shroom! :)

CC said...

Big hugs! We just gave that diagnosis to a ten year old. It was heart breaking to say those words to a mother who really thought her daughter was just dyslexic. But that is (unfortunately) the terminology for eligibility. I hate the label. I'm going to be blogging about that soon on my own little soap box. (ps-I found you through hopeng)

Unknown said...

Dee, I am proud of you. It sure must not be easy to blog about this subject. Way to go, lady! It's really cool to have you as a friend... :)