Anyway, I read these rules with a chuckle, sure that I had swiped them from somewhere and then modified them for our very amateur (but fun-loving) group.
I present to you:
Golden Rules for The Doppler Shift Quartet (March 2000)
1. Everyone should play the same piece.
2. Stop at every repeat sign and discuss in detail whether to take the repeat. The audience will love this a lot!
3. If you play a wrong note, give a nasty look to one of your partners.
4. Keep your fingering chart handy. You can always catch up with the others.
5. Carefully tune your instrument before playing. That way you can play out of tune all night with a clear conscience.
6. Take your time turning pages.
7. The right note at the wrong time is a wrong note (and vice versa).
8. If everyone gets lost except you, follow those who get lost.
9. Strive to get the maximum NPS (Notes Per Second). That way you gain the admiration of the incompetent.
10. Markings for slurs, dynamics and ornaments should not be observed. They are only there to embellish the score.
11. If a passage is difficult, slow down. If it's easy, speed it up. Everything will work itself out in the end.
12. If you are completely lost, stop everyone and say, "I think we should tune."
13. Happy are those who have not perfect pitch, for the Kingdom of Music is theirs.
14. If the ensemble has to stop because of you, explain in detail why you got lost. Everyone will be very interested.
15. A true interpretation is realized when there remains not one note of the original.
16. A wrong note played timidly is a wrong note. A wrong note played with authority is an interpretation.
17. When everyone else has finished playing, you should not play notes you have left. If you have notes left over, please play them on the way home.
2 comments:
hilarious. I love this. Micah has been talking a lot about learning the cello (in addition to the violin).. I'll have to pass these notes on to him when it's time.
A wrong note played timidly....that's gonna be my life mantra from now on...
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